The Be Wary Bitches Moon Day Forecast, 12/21/15

Published December 21, 2015 by C.L. Luciole

Hey there bitches! We’re back!! I know I know, I suck. I haven’t been around since August. I just needed a break. But the good news is we’re back just in time to bring you a Be Wary Bitches Winter Solstice Moon Day Forecast! Say that shit three times fast!

Anyway, on to the forecast!

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Surrounding Energies: Queen of Swords. This bitch has a way of popping up a lot, it seems. Pretty much this card says that you need to pay attention to your instincts and intuition; in other words stop ignoring your gut like a dumbass. New ideas are coming into play, get the fuck out of your rut and try something new. It’s time to assert your independence and stand up for yourself yah pansy. Of course as with all court cards this card can also indicate a woman, typically an air sign woman, one that is career oriented, honest, focused, successful, sarcastic, blunt, and determined. She isn’t going to put up with your shit and is typically slow to trust others.

The Message: Ace of Wands. This card is all about the creative force and revealing the path your creativity or career is taking. Apparently this isn’t the yellow brick road and you’re gonna need some fucking breadcrumbs. This card indicates that your hard work is paying off as it is turning your ideas into a successful reality. This card indicates power, new beginnings, a birth (alright, who’s pregnant!?) a new home, a promotion or a new job, passion, enthusiasm, or growth.

The Outcome: The Nine of Wands. This card warns you that you are going to need to be on guard against trouble, mischief, gossip, and baneful magic. The fuckers are up to no good, yo. Be on your guard, keep your eyes open for trouble, and for the love of fuck don’t slack in in protecting yourself or your magical/professional reputation because you may very well need to defend yourself. You may very well need to put on your pointy hat and work some protection magic even if you feel like you are about done with the drama. Aren’t we all? But not everyone got the Drama Free Zone memo so you are gonna have to witch up and handle business.

Okay, to sum up, new ideas are coming your way. It’s time to step outside of your little world and try something new. The creative force is about to burst out all over the place and shed some light on your path for your clueless ass. And, as so often happens when we start to make headway towards our goals, the haters are gonna come along and try to piss in your Cheerios. Don’t let ’em. Stand strong, defend yourself, and handle yo fuckin’ business like boss.

And while you’re at it try not to be a douche.

Blessed Solstice, bitches!

The Moon Day Forecast, 8.25.15

Published August 25, 2015 by C.L. Luciole

I know I know, I missed yesterday but seriously though I have a good reason this time! See, I got a new cat! And that totally distracted me because, you know, cats! I drew the cards and was totally ready to do the forecast but…again..cats. So instead of the Moon Day Forecast we will have the Tarot Tuesday!

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Surrounding Energies: The Two of Cups. This is like the Minor Arcana’s answer to The Lovers card which, if you will recall, showed up last previously. This card is all about balance and equality, a magical union that binds together heart, body, and soul but in a good way, not in a freaky gimp mask way. It can mean romance, an engagement, or a happy marriage/romantic relationship. It might mean there is an upcoming wedding or handfasting so cue the ugly bridesmaids dresses. Maybe. Because it can also indicate a close friendship or a happy and successful business partnership. Because, yanno, why would a card ever mean ONE thing. This card boils down to the meaning of hope, the hope of a new path together as a couple (romantic or otherwise) and reminds us that there are always going to be new emotional opportunities for love and friendship no matter how badly we’ve been kicked in the emotional teeth.

The Message: The Emperor. Major Arcana here. This card can indicate a leader of a family or a magical group, you know, the responsible “adult”. This card tells us we should calmly survey our situation and carefully consider our options rather than flying off the handle like a fucking lunatic. Just to mix it up a little bit this card can also indicate your boss at work, no matter what gender they are, and often shows up when you are up for a promotion at work, are about to earn a new degree in your coven, or are just starting a newer/better job. If you are the head adult of a family or coven this card could potentially indicate your position as the Main Adulting Adult.

The Outcome: The Four of Swords. Because what would a tarot reading be without some totally contradictory shit goin’ on!? This card is all about the need to take some down time, to retreat and recharge your batteries. This card is about feeling overwhelmed and the need to just get the fuck away from it all. It can indicate a need to allow yourself the time to recover from an illness or a need to step away from group magic for a while (to go along with the whole gaining a new degree in your coven angle from the previous card) because ultimately the answers you seek will be found quietly on your own.

So yeah…about all this. Clearly there is some shit comin’ your way, a new relationship, a friendship or partnership, and you are, or are going to be, the head of something. A family, a coven, or even just getting a new job or gaining a new degree in your coven. And, surprise surprise, it might all be a little overwhelming. When that happens it’s okay to retreat a little bit and take the time you need to chill the fuck out. We might love our families, covens, jobs, whatever, but it is okay to take some you time as well.

And while you are at it try not to be a douche.

See yah next week!

The Moon Day Forecast, 8/17/15

Published August 17, 2015 by C.L. Luciole

Hola, bitches! Yeah yeah yeah, I know, I missed a week again. I suck. But last Monday I got some news from work that made me a little too giddy to concentrate on much else. Things aren’t where they should be but we’re working on it and all a witch can do is try, right?! Of course, right! So let’s get on with this week’s forecast and see what manner of clusterfuck the Stars have in store for us this week!

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Surrounding Energies: The Three of Pentacles. This card has been turning up here and there as of late, apparently its time to get our learnin’ on. This is the Apprentice card and can indicate that you may be faced with the opportunity to learn a new job skill or enter some kind of job training program or, for you witchy types, it can also represent some kind of magical apprenticeship. Maybe a new course of magical study or working towards some a new degree or level of some kind in your coven. This card also puts you on notice that focus and hard work will yield success, duh. It’s a card of positive progress and reminds you to put your creative talents to good use, that they could even lead towards some sort of supplemental income if you get your ass in gear!

The Message: The Lovers. Someone’s about to get their freak on! Well, maybe. Sure, this card can indicate a lil bit of the freaky deaky is in your future but not necessarily. Of course. This is also a card of relationships and choice; the power of love, desire, destiny, romance, and attraction. All that bullshit that makes us act like morons. It also celebrates overcoming challenges so that two lovers can be together. But this card is more than just a free pass to get yo swerve on. It’s also a card of choice and reminds us that every choice we make affects our future and to be sure to choose wisely.

The Outcome: The Tower. This bitch. Every time I see The Tower my butthole puckers just a lil bit. Drawing this card in a personal reading was once followed by my falling down some stairs so, there’s that. But, if I stop being a wuss for just a minute I will admit that this card isn’t necessarily bad. Yeah sure, it’s totally a card about destruction but really the destruction is more of a metaphor. Big surprise, I know. This card is all about a shocking revelation or even that causes the floor to fall out from beneath us and will forever change the way you see yourself and the people around you. While that sounds like it sucks big time, and it prolly will, it isn’t necessarily a bad thing. Just keep reminding yourself of that. Destruction also clears the way for change and the fires purify and transform. This card tells us change is coming and whoa baby is it going to be dramatic. You may suffer a blow to your ego and may stumble on your but buck up lil camper, you’re gonna survive it! The obstacles that once blocked you spiritually are going to be removed and what you learn in the midst of all this bullshit is going to help you in the long run.

So change seems to be the big theme of the week here. Some shit be comin’ down the line for you career or skill wise, whether at work or within your witchy circles but, either way, you’re gonna have to put your skills and creativity to work to achieve anything. You’re gonna have to make a choice, one that may or may not involve some sort of romantic relationship, but either way it will be a choice that will affect your future directly. Change is coming and change is rarely easy, your ego may suffer a blow, you may stumble and say fuck a lot, but you’re gonna get through it. Try and remember that. Choose wisely, work your ass off and put your creative talents to good use, and say fuck as much as you need to. You’re gonna get through it.

And try not to be a douche.

See yah next week!

The Moon Day Forecast, 8/3/15

Published August 3, 2015 by C.L. Luciole

Greetings Bitches! Lammas was last weekend, along with a Blue Moon, all kinds of witchy energy floating about these days! Tap into that shit and get yo witch on, yo! For me, personally, it was a magical weekend. And that’s all I have to say about that for now. 😉

On to the Forecast!

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Surrounding Energies: Ace of Swords. This card represents the purest form of the masculine element of Air. This card tells you it’s time to take action, yo. No more couch potato sitting on yo ass bullshit for you! This card is all about intellect, heroism, victory, justice, achievement, new beginnings, winning battles, blah blah blah. All that happy hoo-rah horseshit. Another message is that now you have the chance for another way of thinking, stop deluding yourself basically. Stop seeing the shit you want to see and see what is actually there. The truth may hurt but it’s better than being a delusional dumbass for the rest of your life. Get rid of the fantasy so you can make room for an even better reality. That reality is attainable, success is in your grasp if you are willing to take off the blinders, get off your ass, and go for it.

The Message: Two of Swords. This card is all about blocking yourself, and your emotions, off from all those around you. You may think you have achieved balance but this goes back to being fucking delusional because you most likely don’t even realize you have blocked yourself off. You are quite literally refusing to see what is right in front of your fucking eyes. Your heart and your mind are completely at odds. There is nothing wrong with healthy boundaries but sometimes those boundaries extend to ourselves, whether we realize it or not, and before you know it you’re all shriveled up and closed off. Examine the situation, be aware of your impending shriveling, and work to find true balance.

The Outcome: The Sun. Major Arcana here, bitches. Luckily this is typically a happy happy joy joy card. This card is all about good omens, good luck, achievement, creativity, breakthroughs, you get the gist. It is appropriate that this card appear now, as we enter the last hurrah of the Sun. It is slowly declining and at the Autumn Equinox will lose it’s fight against the Darkness and the Night. Go outside while the Sun is still in its power and let its warmth bless you; now is the time to work solar magic if you have any intentions of doing so. This card tells you that success is yours; happiness is ahead, good health, energy, vitality, all those things associated with the Sun. This card tells us that spiritual wholeness will be achieved, there are celebrations ahead, magical events, with friends and magical family. Your personal power will be at its peak but you’ll have to focus that power to see what it will accomplish.

I kinda feel like this spread is pretty self explanatory unless you’re a fucking moron but just in case lets sum up. Get off your ass and take action, now is the time but you can’t be a lazy ass and expect the universe to hand what you want to you. Stop being a spectator in your own life! Take off your blinders, stop closing yourself off to what is around you, see what is rather than what you want it to be so that you can create an even better reality. The Sun is at its peak, seek its blessings and they will be yours, channel that power and energy towards your goals (we’re back to not being a lazy ass again) and you will get what you want out of life. Happier times are ahead if you will just allow yourself to see and enjoy them.

And try not to be a douche.

The Moon Day Forecast, 7/27/15

Published July 27, 2015 by C.L. Luciole

Hiyah bitches! I missed last week again. I know. But life happened hard core, yo. I swear some day I will get better at adulting. Maybe when I’m 60…

Anyway, lets get on with this weeks forecast and see what fuckery the Universe has for us this week!

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Surrounding Energies: The Eight of Swords. This card is all about feeling trapped and sad at this juncture in your life. This card is also about showing you that you are acting like a giant titty-baby and if you would just take off your emotional blinders and stop feeling sorry for yourself you would see that things are not all that bad and, consequently, a way out of whatever it is that is making you feel all butthurt and sad. Stop fucking over reacting, things are not as bad as they might see. Happiness is possible and new opportunities are emerging just crawl out of your self pity pit long enough to see them. Also, you witchy bitches out there, this could indicate a witch that is fearful of ritual or their own initiation. Well buck up, w/bitches! There is no place for fear in the Craft. Either check that shit at the door or move on to the next religion. If you can’t stir with the Big Witches step away from the Cauldron!

The Message: Three of Pentacles. This card is all about hard work and focus in order to achieve what you want. A’dur. Anyone with half a brain should know that. But just in case you missed that shit, here is your cosmic reminder. This is a positive card, though. One that reminds you that you should be putting your creative talents to good use. These talents will help you be successful, potentially even supplementing your income via self employment. This is also a card of apprenticeship. You might be learning a new career, or enter a new training at work. And, of course, for you witchy bitches out there, it can indicate a magical training of some sort. A new course of magical study or a new degree in your coven. Ultimately this card tells you to work yo ass off and your effort will be acknowledged and rewarded. Now is the time to perfect your craft, no more half-assing bullshit.

The Outcome: The Ten of Swords. This card is something of a kick in the teeth, especially when it is in the Outcome position. But no one said the Universe was gentle! This card is essentially the card of being “stabbed in the back”. It indicates betrayal from a loved one, a friend, or a coven member. Basically it illustrates what happens when you don’t listen to your own instincts. If you ignore the warning signs and that lil voice in your gut that says “This shit ain’t right, yo” you will ultimately pay the price. This card further indicates being involved with a toxic group of people such as at your job, or even in your coven, where you don’t feel appreciated or wanted. Get the fuck gone, yo. If you don’t feel wanted or cherished Get. The. Fuck. Gone. Why stick around for that bullshit?

Alright, lets break down this bitch. First things first; stop feeling sorry for yourself! Buck up titty-baby, there is a way out! Hope is on the horizon but you have to take the blinders of your self pity off in order to see it. Granted, you’re going to have to work for it, but that is to be expected. You may be on the verge of a new career, job training, or a new magical path/degree, etc. Stop fearing it and embrace it. Cultivate your creative talents so that can realize your full potential. No more half-assing that shit! And while you’re at it, ditch the toxic people! It is better to walk alone than with people that will just trip you ever few steps. See, I’m fuckin’ deep, yo. Listen to what your gut is telling you and head towards the sun. Shed your fear and embrace the opportunities that await you. Otherwise you will find yourself feeling butt hurt and betrayed wondering why you didn’t listen to yourself to begin with.

And just try not to be a douche.

Thanks for joining us at the forecast, bitches! See yah next week!

The Moon Day Forecast, 7/13/15

Published July 13, 2015 by C.L. Luciole

Hey there bitches!! I know I know, it’s late. It’s almost midnight. But almost midnight ISN’T midnight and that means it’s still Monday! Sorry, I was off having a life. Better late than never, yo!

Enough fucking around. On to the Forecast!

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Surrounding Energies: The Wheel of the Year. This card is all about the cycles of the seasons, the wheel of the year, and working with the current energies that surround you rather than being a cantankerous fuck and working against them. This card also represents change and the fact that shit is ever transforming and growing. Luckily this card also typically represents good luck, an opportunity, and a fortuitous event. So hopefully said change is a good one and not a cosmic kick in the nuts.

The Message: The Queen of Wands. This bitch has popped up before but hey, at least it isn’t the Three of Cups. I’ll take it! Anyway, this bitch is all about energy, enthusiasm, and passion! This is a card that tell you you can have it all; home, work/career, family, magic, all that happy horseshit. You just need to allow your passion for life, and your spiritual energy to fill you up instead of the typical bullshit, and let it lead the way! As with all court cards this card can represent a person. Typically a fair woman with pale eyes; one that loves her family, home, pets, etc. This woman tends to be on the sassy side, warm, fun, affectionate, mischievous. Intense and passionate, a good sense of humor, takes a lot to piss her off but once you do she’ll burn your ass to the ground. She’s a skilled multitasker and a natural coven leader.

The Outcome: The Six of Pentacles. This card is all about generosity and gifts. Not necessarily money either. It can also indicate the gift of your time, your attention, sharing your talents, or giving someone a helping hand. Sure it could mean money, everyone could use a little extra money, but don’t be such a narrow minded fuck. Generosity can also indicate emotional support or an opportunity to volunteer and/or give back to the community. It can also indicate paying a karmic debt or a scholarship that is on its way.  Ultimately this card indicates that abundant, positive, prosperous energy is all the fuck around you right now so it is the perfect time to womp up some prosperity magic.

So clearly shit be changin’ yo. Good change, but still change. Go with it. Flow with the natural cycles and embrace the energies of the season. Energy, excitement, bounty, and vibrancy are the energies of Summer so tap into that shit! It’s time for some fuckin’ energy and enthusiasm! Stop ignoring your passion for life because you can, in fact, have all the shit you want. And while the Universe is being good to you, don’t forget to give some of that shit back. Be there for someone, or several someones, or some four legged furry someones. Don’t be a stingy fuck, give back, share your talents with the world, give someone a helping hand, or simply give someone the gift of your attention. Because when it comes time to ask for prosperity for yourself the best place to start is with gratitude for what you already have and a generous spirit that gives more than it asks for.

And try not to be a douche.

See yah next week!